ME: I’m not into that Criss Angel guy (or the way he spells his first name), but this illusion is pretty cool (pic of out-stretched hands holding coffee beans with fresh hot coffee magically pouring down from underneath the cupped hands). There have been times when I’d like to have been able to do this… It should be a superpower. Okay, that does it. I’ve officially changed my superhero name (come on we’ve all contemplated what ours would be if we were bitten by an irradiated bum). The super hero formerly known as “Shadow Ass” will now be played by, soon to be infamous, Coffee Girl! Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound as cool as my previous name… I need something less impotent. Blog-o-verse, can you save the day?!?! What would you call a superhero who could change whole coffee beans into fresh brewed coffee??? Winner gets a whole post dedicated to their creative process ; ).
MarkieMark: Black Ichor of Life???
ME: Black Ichor of Life...hmmm... I'm liking this one... I think "of life" might be redundant, so how about The Black Ichor! Androgynously sexy don't you think?! You wake in the wee hours disoriented, unable to speak beyond the occasional primitive groan... reaching for your daily dose of strength and virility, you find your roommate has drank the last cup of coffee. At first you drop to your knees in despair tears weaving the last of yesterday's mascara into ashen rivers down your cheeks... Then, suddenly--what's this? Stuck in your 6th Floor window asking you for "A little help please!" is none other than--THE BLACK ICHOR!!! You may have had to call the Fire Department to use the jaws of life to release me from your window's grip, but just before I went, I reached out my hands...and you yours, clutching your favorite coffee mug, and all was once again well in the world...
MarkieMark: It's a great name! But I just googled it...and apparently that name is already taken by some lady that writes reviews for horror stories. It also refers to the blood of demons and orcs from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. So perhaps not a good name after all?
ME: I don't wish to copyright my superhero name, so I'm not bothered that some mere mortal has already made use of it. As for the blood thing...that's just icky. It would be blasphemous to compare the blood of Demons and Orcs to the gloriousness of coffee... Unless!... we can establish a historical use of coffee as an elixer to stay the demon or orc present in each of us. On a very real level, we ALL know, that is what it does... And before I've had my coffee, I pretty much speak fluent Orc and my head has been known to spin around... Let's face it, a world without coffee is a dark and ugly place absent of beauty in all its forms; an empty rotting shell ravaged by the likes of the Living Dead or EVEEL in all its forms whether Orc or Demon. But this is a future none of us will ever have to experience if the Black Ichor stretches out her life giving hands and makes sure that never a coffee cup goes unfilled!!!